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Here I would love to share with you our travels and adventures as international mushroom consultants. MEMOIRS about husband Pieter Vedder, who was a SCIENTIFIC PIONEER in Commercial Mushroom Cultivation Education. His practical handbook is in 9 languages and is called the MUSHROOM BIBLE: https://mariettesbacktobasics.blogspot.com/2020/08/modern-mushroom-growing-2020-harvesting.html

Saturday, May 4, 2024

Our Final Easter Together

 On March 31, I did sing in the Chancel Choir and we had a little Orchestra accompanying us.
So we had to practice all together at 10:00 AM and since we have only one car, Pieter came along.
After Mass, around 1:00 PM we took some pictures and as always the case—Pieter already had hung his Jacket and released himself of his tie...!
Pieter looks rather frail, his weight went down.
Pieter captured me next to our Easter bouquet from sweet friend
Feeling very happy!
Wearing my Escada leather skirt and shoes.
There are not many clothes I can wear, as at present I am only 96 pounds (43 kg) instead of my usual 116 (52 kg)...
Try to do my very best but it is not sticking!
During Mass at 11:30 AM I suddenly became very emotional and tears were welling up.
Did manage to not let them roll down my cheeks but twice I had to blow my nose...
Later I learned that exactly at that time my most favorite brother–in–law had passed away. He suffered from bone cancer.
My ESP was once again kicking in and I felt it.
On April 1, I wrote this letter to my Pieter...

Dublin, April 1, 2024

Dearest Pieter,

During Easter Mass, tears came to me when I saw you sitting there—how much longer? You get so out of breath from climbing stairs. It's frightening to think that you're slipping away like that. My Pieter, my rock and great help for the past year after accident.

Because of the enormous pain, I was certainly not the nicest conversation partner! My humor appeared to have dried up and the pain was unbearable. You felt powerless... But you kept me alive by feeding me what you prepared.

Suddenly the roles reversed! It hurts so much to see your elderly sweetheart struggling and I couldn't change it. Praying, a lot of praying, for strength and to be able to spend some more time together. Cycling together if I can still manage that... At least I want to take care of the laundry again. You're already doing too much outside! In bed you breathe very difficult—frightening.

Both of us are still too often exhausted. Reading makes me calmer, but the pressure of many things causes stress. Glad we have the trust almost complete! Before it is too late, I want to tell you that I still love you dearly and am proud of you. I have emphasized that pride often enough in my blog! A rare great love and it hurts to have ended up in the rag basket like that. Neither of us wanted this! Someday we will be together again without physical discomfort—our souls. It's going to be hard to ever having to live without you... 

I will fight for our cats, but I want to be with you again as soon as possible!

Your eternally loving L.L.

Pieter has read this letter several times and he said one thing to me in regard to this:

You have exceptionally keen senses. Nothing escapes you and in terms of hearing you never miss anything. 
You have a memory like an elephant and you are as sharp as a tack—mentally acute. 
In combination with your other characteristics, that is very special and that's why I loved you so dearly...

Indeed a Blissful Relationship!

Bring Flowers of the Fairest to Mary in the month of May | mention by Father Seán of Dublin, Ireland and Pieter worshipped Mary whole his life...

74 comments:

  1. Mariette and Pieter - you're a great loving couple! Your mutual love and respect will overcome all frailties and pains. You both look lovely in the pictures! Wishing you both many more happy times together!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Duta,
      Thank you very much and I pray hard that I will overcome my pains... it is now over one year and I'm not improving.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  2. Hugs and love from all of us. Yes, your kitties need you now. I'm so very sorry that your lovely and dear Pieter has gone, you had such a wonderful life together and missing him is only natural. Take care dear friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Terry,
      You are not only an excellent writer but a very keen reader!
      Yes, the kitties need me very much, they were at Pieter's side till the very last.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  3. I'm so sorry about the passing of your brother-in-law. My condolences to you both, Mariette.

    You and Pieter have been blessed to find each other and have a true love partnership. Sending you both Light and hugs. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Kim,
      Thank you and indeed, Pieter and I knew true love—the rarest of all.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  4. You and Pieter both will always be in my heart and in my prayers. I am so grateful I was able to meet you both.
    Aways your friend,
    Carole and Katie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Carole and Katie Isabella,
      Thank you so much and this was mutual!
      Pieter loved both of you and felt at home—special memories now but also very valuable ones!
      Hugs,
      Mariette, Spooky boy, Spunky girl and Tiggy–Tiger girl—they are so sweet this week...

      Delete
  5. Hi, sweet Mariette,
    I'm sorry to hear about your loving brother-in-law... :(
    And now, with Pieter gone too, you do have to fight to stay and take care of your dear kitties. They are your family and you are their family and I know that The Same God that sustained Pieter and is sustaining you, will keep on doing just that: staying at your side and giving you strenght.
    May God bless you every day of your life, dear friend.
    Lots of hugs, prayers and love from this side of the ocean, straight to your heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Paula,
      Thank you so much for your well chosen words here. God will sustain me and when I get a bit more rested up and eating at normal times, I will manage.
      Both of us have lived because of the Grace of God who granted us more time together...
      Big hugs to the three of you!
      Mariette

      Delete
  6. Mariette, you two found your life long soul mates when you met and wed. I am sorry to hear you are still suffering so now a year later. While fighting the brave fight. Your pictures show two very loving and elegant people. Lynn and Precious XX

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Dearest Lynn and Precious,
      Thank you and yes we were true soul mates.
      Those picture have now become very precious to me!
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  7. Oh Mariette - I’m heartbroken for you. You modeled a shared love so deep and pure. Truly you and Pieter were soulmates. I am blessed to have been witness, if only through your blog of a couple deeply devoted to each other as a Godly marriage should be.
    You will see Pieter again. Take care of those cats and be well. You are an inspiration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Debby,
      Thank you and indeed our love has been deep and pure and remains that forever as our souls are fused for eternity.
      The Priest that married us in Chile, no doubt has welcomed Pieter HOME, where he has been residing for quite some time himself.
      Today was the best routine day so far, slept well and took a very good nap. Aside from the excruciating pain near stent–graft in the thoracic spine area.
      Trusting that it will go down slowly as I am no longer doing that much physical work.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  8. This took longer to read then it should due to my tears, crying made it hard to read, you are lucky you found your soulmate and had so many wonderful years together. So many people are not that lucky

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Jo-Anne,
      Crying can feel relieving and we ought not to suppress our emotions.
      My tears do well when reading all the international replies—even though it is uplifting.
      Yes, I was oh so fortunate for having found my true soulmate and God listened to our prayers for granting us more time together.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  9. My heart is breaking for you, dear Mariette. A long and happy love that Pieter and you shared is indeed precious and such a gift from God. Your dedication to one another has inspired so many, and the love you have lives on.
    Love and blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Martha Jane,
      Thank you and yes it was a very long unison and a rare one. God has truly blessed our marriage and our souls remain together no matter what!
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  10. I am so very sorry for your immense loss, Mariette. What a handsome couple I see in your photos. May God grant you comfort and grace for each moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Lorrie,
      Thank you so much and yes, God will see me through—as he always has for both of us.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  11. I am sorry for the loss of your brother-in-law. That is a beautiful letter to your beloved. I am sorry you are still in pain from your accident. I was not familiar with your blog when that happened, but I am sorry it did happen. XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Ellen,
      Not only the loss of my brother–in–law but I also lost my Pieter. This was my farewell letter to him. Pieter read it several times and a couple of days before he passed away.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
    2. I am so sorry. I was confused because he had read it so I assumed he was still with you. I can't even imagine your pain right now. I wish I could give you a hug. I am very sorry. XO

      Delete
    3. Dearest Ellen,
      Yep it was our final Easter together... Did write that letter the day after—as I did sense it to come near. Pieter read it several times and his words are way below, spoken exactly one week before his passing! Got that on my iPhone as a short video and it means so much NOW!
      A virtual hug feels as good as a real one.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  12. Dear Mariette, I hope you received my email. Again, I'm so very sorry to hear about Pieter's passing. I can certainly see in these photos how much weight he lost. I knew if I looked up his obituary online that I would find several posts of condolences to read so I already did that. He had a long and illustrious career and you two were blessed to have so much in common and to share so many years together. I'm sorry to hear also about your brother-in-law just a month earlier. Take care of yourself. Sending hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Tammy,
      Sure did receive your email and thank you for your comforting words!
      Those posts of condolences are overwhelming, also on LinkedIn and FB. From all over the world and very meaningful.
      Yes, I shed tears for my brother–in–law and Pieter got emotional too as he knew him since the late 1960s.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  13. Mariette, Words can not erase the grief you feel, and yet I offer my heartfelt and sincerest condolences to you. I truly believe that Pieter walks by your side, each and every minute of the day, and he will continue to do so, until you are both reunited again in heaven. I am also sorry you lost your brother in law. May God grant you HIS strength during this difficult time, may HE grant you peace in your heart in knowing that you will see all of your loved ones again. I am so very sorry, and send hugs and love ♥♥♥ Laura

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Laura,
      Thank you so much and yes, there is no doubt that Pieter walks by my side. We both lived in Faith and that is a truth and the very best comfort!
      Big hugs,
      Mariette + Kitties

      Delete
  14. Oh no! I'm sorry for your loss. He got to live a long and good life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Anne,
      Yes, God granted him a very long life and an alert mind till the very end!
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  15. Dear Mariette, I'm so sorry to hear of the passing of your beloved Pieter. I know how dearly you loved him and what a special relationship you had. May God comfort you during this time of sorrow, and wrap around you like a blanket of comfort and love.

    Thinking of you tonight, my dear friend, and sending love.

    ~Sheri

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Sheri,
      Thank you for your comforting words and by the grace of God I will manage this loss as Pieter is always at my side—our souls never die!
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
    2. I also wanted to say how sorry I am for the passing of your favorite brother-in-law. You are going through a lot right now, and I just wanted to tell you how deeply sorry I am. May God hold you close through these days of grieving.

      Delete
    3. Yes, indeed a lot is going on. Also a favorite first cousin passed on 3 days after Pieter did. He will be missed dearly as well.

      Delete
  16. Liebe Mariette,
    heute komme ich endlich auch einmal wieder hierher. Bei der Überschrift stockte mein Herz ... mein herzliches Beileid, ich weiß gar nicht, was ich sagen soll ...
    Gott stehe Dir bei!
    Von Herzen
    Sara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liebe Sara,
      So etwas überwältigt einem in der Tat, und es ist nicht erträglich ohne Gottes Hilfe. Aber ich bin dankbar für meinen lieben Pieter, der bis zum Schluss klar geblieben ist!
      Liebe Grüße,
      Mariette

      Delete
  17. Losing a loved one is never easy, and it's clear from your heartfelt words just how much Pieter meant to you. Your love and dedication to each other are inspiring, and I believe that the bond you shared will continue to live on in your memories and in the love that surrounds you.

    It's evident from your letter that you and Pieter had a beautiful and blissful relationship. And as you navigate through this period of grief, know that you're not alone. You have friends and loved ones who care about you deeply, and we're here to offer support and comfort in any way we can, dearest Mariette.

    Love, hugs and blessings

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Veronica,
      Yes, my Pieter meant the world to me and suddenly he is no more. His laugh, his humor and his always wise words are silenced. But he promised me to walk with me every step of the way, our souls are still fused and a strong Faith is the engine to life.
      Indeed the support of friends and loved ones is overwhelming...
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  18. Mariette and Pieter
    I am so very sorry to read about the loss of your dear brother in law, Pieter.
    I did love seeing your photos and I spied a kitty too
    My brother in law (whom I knew before I knew my husband) is also fighting the dreaded CANCER.
    Sending healing hugs
    Cecilia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Cecilia,
      Thank you but it was my brother–in–law + my husband Pieter a month later...
      Oh, Spooky boy is like a magnet or body guard!
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  19. Liebe Mariette,
    schon ein paar mal war ich hier und las vom Heimgange Deines geliebten Pieters immer wieder und kann es kaum fassen. Mein herzliches Beileid. 🙏🏻 Die Hoffnung gibt die Kraft zum Weiterleben, die Liebe gibt die Stärke zum Überwinden der Trauer und der Glaube ist das tröstende, durch Wolken strahlende Licht. Dein Pieter wird wie ein heller Stern die Nacht durchleuchten, bis weit hinein in den Morgen.
    Alles Liebe von Traudi.💗

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liebe Traudi,
      Ja, es sind nun sechs Tage und langsam kommt wieder etwas Routine im Leben.
      Rechtzeitig essen und auch schlafen, dazu gehört unbedingt einen Mittagschlaf.
      Habe schon wieder 800 Gram zugenommen also es geht wieder voraus mit 44.1 kg.
      Danke für deine bedeutungsvolle Wörter es tut der Seele gut!
      Liebe Grüße,
      Mariette

      Delete
  20. Liebe Mariette, o ja, der Mittagsschlaf ist sehr wichtig, wir machen das schon seit Jahren, immer eine volle Stunde und das tut so gut. Rituale braucht der Mensch und dass Du zugenommen hast, freut mich sehr. Und es wird mehr werden, ich glaube daran. 👍
    Liebe Grüße von Traudi.💗

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liebe Traudi,
      Wir Beide haben es auch immer getan seid meinem Unfall, ich brauchte es so sehr. Es tut gut und auch die Seele 😉
      Ja, ich hoffe ich schaffe es jede Woche um etwas zunehmen zu können!
      Ganz liebe Grüße,
      Mariette

      Delete
  21. Mariette I am so so very sorry at the loss of your brother in and and your Beloved Pieter. Bless your heart and soul you have all my prayers
    Cecilia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Cecilia,
      Thank you so much—it still seems unreal but is a reality.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  22. Sending you so much love.
    www.rsrue.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  23. Mariette, I am so deeply sorry, I did not understand that Pieter has passed. I have no words for you, there are no words that can help ease your grief. Please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ❤️🙏

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Kim,
      Yes, as the title reads: Our Final Easter Together and also LAST photos...
      Only 30 days after my brother–in–law.
      Thank you for your thoughts and prayer and it is only by Faith that one can live through this and with the knowledge that Pieter is at my side—our souls are fused forever!
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
    2. I'm sorry, I thought you were anticipating Pieter's passing before next Easter, not that he already had. 😢 God bless you and give you comfort and strength and peace, knowing that Pieter has not gone, but has gone on before you and will be there for you, always. ❤️

      Delete
    3. Yes, Pieter is at my side always—two souls fused for eternity!

      Delete
  24. I am heartbroken to read abou. t the loss of your brother-in-law and your husband Pieter, Mariette. I know it's unimaginable to lose your partner in such a deeply loving relationship. The pictures of you both are so lovely. I'm also sad to know you are still having pain and I send hopes that this will get better. The kitties do need you now, so much. Wishing you peace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Leah,
      Yes, who would have known that it went that fast but I'm so grateful for having had Pieter here at home and being alert till the very end.
      Spooky boy stayed with Pieter on his hospitalbed, he even slept on the mattress cover for two more nights till they came to pick up all the medical equipment that Pieter used for only 3 nights...
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  25. I was skakey and hit the button too soon. Wishing you relief, peace, love, and comfort, always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Leah,
      Thank you and my 3 kitties are the sweetest love bugs right now...
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  26. My heart aches for you. Faith does help us through. Bless you and yours, my dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Darla,
      Thank you and indeed, where would we be without Faith?
      Pieter promised to be always with me—our souls are fused forever, with or without body!
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  27. My dear Mariette, how my heart cries with yours! The loss of your precious brother-in-law, and the knowledge of his passing, and then to experience the greatest loss of your precious Pieter! The photos you shared are just beautiful, both of you beautiful souls, that will live on eternally. How wonderful to know that we have that eternal hope to sustain in the darkest moments on earth. I pray for your pain, the suffering you are enduring both physically and emotionally with the loss of these precious people in your life. I pray that the peace of the Lord that passes understanding will comfort you during these difficult days! Much love to you dear friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Marilyn,
      Well, with a strong Faith that both of us had, we manage this together as our souls are forever fused! Yes, we both grieved for the loss of this kind brother–in–law. May my physical pain go down just a bit, to make life somewhat bearable. Pieter was my sole caretaker but he gave his life for doing so... it was too much on him.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  28. You shared a beautiful, remarkable love. I'm glad you have your cats for comfort, and they need you too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Melissa,
      Yes, we both shared a true love and our souls will never be separated!
      Our kitties mourned loudly his passing and they were with him till the very end—especially Spooky boy. It breaks your heart to watch them.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  29. Our heartfelt condolences dear Mariette. I'm so sorry I haven't visited here until now. I've had you on my mind daily since reading of sweet Pieter's passing. Both Bob and I have prayed and hoped that you are managing without him being there. This was such sad news and quite unexpected by me. I know how close you always were, and always will be. It will be a new way of life for you...........but I know you will remain the amazing woman you are, always positive and moving forward to make the most of each and every day.
    Main reason for my tardiness is that my Bob was hospitalized for almost a week. An emergency middle of the night ambulance ride, he was quite ill. I was extremely busy with hospital visits and friends visiting from the UK. He's home now but will require another exploratory procedure soon and we are praying he will get good findings from that.
    Sending love and good wishes - be strong and brave, and know we care.
    Hugs - Mary and Bob xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Mary & Bob,
      Thank you for your sympathy and indeed it is quite a change but knowing that Pieter no longer has to fight for staying alive—in order to take care of me, he is at Peace now.
      It was incredible this life together and both of us were grateful to God that he let Pieter be sharp and lucid until the very end. He reached his 95th Birthday because he fought like a lion to get there! Proud of him.
      So sorry to read about Bob having been hospitalized for nearly a week. Hoping all is well now and that he will get the best care possible. Yes, prayers are needed at a certain age.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  30. I'm reading this after having already read the most recent post and still shocked by the news, but with the desire that love always remains between the two, no matter the distance.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Christina,
      Indeed, our love will last forever as we have Faith and believe our souls are fused.
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  31. Dearest Mariette,
    I think of you every day since I learned about Pieter's passing and I am so sorry about your loss! Your letter to him brought tears to my eyes as I know how much love you always had for each other. Take care of yourself and please try to gain some weight as this will surely help you to be strong and cope with the situation. I hope you have some good friends and neighbours to keep you company and give you any help you might need.
    Bigs hugs to you!
    Marie-Anne

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Marie–Anne,
      Thank you and that final letter from April 1 has been read several times by Pieter, it means a lot to him. He read it short before his death...
      Lost another pound this week but I'm trying hard to get enough sleep, naps and eat in time and enough.
      Sure I do have great friends and so far they carried me through this. Even though when so many people came to visit, to bring food and flowers, I was completely off routine by having breakfast at lunch time and lunch at supper time. Also no chance to take a nap.
      That now is far more routine!
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete
  32. Mariette piękna i kochająca z was para. Życzę zdrowia. Pozdrawiam serdecznie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Najdroższa Małgorzato,
      Dziękuję za odwiedziny i te ostatnie wspomnienia o moim Pieterze na Wielkanoc pozostają dla mnie cenne.
      Uściski,
      Mariette

      Delete
  33. You are fortunate to have had such a soul-level connection to your mate of over forty years. Of course this continues into the next life. I hope all the memories you cherish will help you until you can be together again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Wendy,
      Yes, for that I am oh so grateful and our souls are forever connected. The memories are such a rare treasure and I will cherish them forever!
      Hugs,
      Mariette

      Delete

Thanks for your visit and comment.

Mariette...

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MARIETTE'S BACK TO BASICS © 2009. All rights reserved - Text and images may not be copied for distribution or sale.

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