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Here I would love to share with you our travels and adventures as international mushroom consultants. MEMOIRS about husband Pieter Vedder, who was a SCIENTIFIC PIONEER in Mushroom Cultivation Education. His practical handbook is in 8 languages and is called the MUSHROOM BIBLE: https://mariettesbacktobasics.blogspot.com/2020/08/modern-mushroom-growing-2020-harvesting.html

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

{There You Go Again... Update}

SORRY for having been missing in action but this is why:
On Thanksgiving Day, while we were having a lovely dinner at the home of our 'American Family' my Dad was having a heart attack and ended up in the hospital.
This is a photo, taken on Friday afternoon when my brother Piet (he took this photo) with brother Jan and sister Gerd went to visit Dad at the hospital.
Jan used his iPhone 6, for letting Dad do FaceTime with me.
Exactly the same way as he did with Mom during her final days...
This is what I had on my FB on Saturday, asking for prayers as we are waiting about the outcome for Dad's health.
It looks like he has CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) since he had a lot of fluids in his leg and difficulty breathing.
This morning, at Church, I snapped this shot from our Church bulletin where Dad's name is being listed among those needing a prayer.
Both of us do strongly believe in prayer and we are grateful for all that do pray for my dear Dad!
Mom & Dad have both knelt at this Church together with us and Dad sang at this Church...
So many memories and people know my Parents in this town.

Okay, now about the THERE YOU GO AGAIN...

Being over 8,000 km away from home it is NOT easy dealing with a parent that is in the hospital or on his/her death bed.
Like in January of this year, when I lost my sweet Mom after guiding her 17 days during her hospital stay.
I owe a lot of gratitude to my sweet and very close brothers (2) and other brother and  sister.
But there are 2 more that are rather toxic!
The brother who thinks he is in charge has completely left me out of the family App so I will not receive any updates or know who is visiting Dad on any given day.
Yesterday, my toxic brother went to visit Dad in the afternoon - no update to anyone!
In the evening my toxic sister went to visit Dad in the evening - no update to anyone either!

That is living through hell, plain torture for NOT knowing anything.
Neither have they provided Dad with a phone; so I cannot call him.
Only when my close siblings visit Dad, will I receive any update. 
A photo is so welcome; like the above first photo.
Today it made me very happy to hear again an update. 

Guess what the toxic brother who thinks he is in charge did to me in January?
He forced me to take down ALL photos from Mom.
{R.I.P. Dear Mom} with Mom's sweet photo... (you can click the hyperlink).

I had to take down all the photos that were made here in Georgia, while Mom was visiting us.
My toxic brother threatened me with being left out of my Parents' will if I did not take them down.
Although I never understood WHY, I have given in, hoping it would restore the peace in our family, after first making screen shots of each and every single comment of sweet people from around the world.
Like on my blog above, I had lots of comments on my FB posts.
It was what carried me through those tough times as we could not be at the funeral for two reasons: I was still having physical rehab and also because we were paying huge medical bills at the time.
click to enlarge...

All those comments meant the world to me; they did lift me up and also very much my dear husband Pieter, who suffered heart cramps from all the stress and hurt caused by those toxic siblings who did never consider my dear Pieter's age of 86! That's NOT how you treat the elderly...
At 7:00 PM the 'day' ends on Blogger and Pageviews get counted anew.
On the actual day of Mom's death, up till 7:00 PM, I did have 1,550 pageviews...
From 7:00-9:00 PM when this was taken, it were 102 pageviews.

No words can tell you HOW grateful I am to those that lifted us up.
From so many countries, from all religions and I respect them all.

On FB, I did get again numerous comments and visits on my post: R.I.P. Dear Mom ← just click it to see the Pdf with everything I'd saved before deleting.
Mom is in heaven  ← just click it to see the Pdf also.

 Sweet foster-daughter Anita from Indonesia, did video Skype me from their car, before I went to bed on Saturday evening.
She always has been very loving and supportive.

So, once again I did put Mom's photo back on my blog.

As the oldest daughter, I don't want to be a victim to this kind of useless bullying by those toxic siblings again.

Bitter siblings keep viewing that post very frequently; up from 630 views (see above) to 1548 now...

They have fed Dad with lies and made up stories, trying to cut me off.
That is so rude for manipulating a grieving Dad at his frail age of 94!
It proves of a sick and hateful mind.

Let us hope they will change and above all, letting Dad have a peaceful time till he will join Mom in heaven.

That is very much our prayer!


  1. Thinking of you and hope your dad's condition improves. I know you want to be there with him.

  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your dear dad, I pray he gets well soon.....


  3. Dearest Mariette,
    so sad to hear about your dear Dad, I hope, he will recover soon!
    And, I know, you would love to be with him ... you are there with your heart and your thoughts, and I am sure, he knows this!
    Have a good start into the new week,
    sending Love, Hugs and blessings!
    Claudia xo

  4. Liebe Mariette,

    viel Kraft und Zuversicht wünscht dir

  5. Mariette Hello!
    I wish recovery to his father. That everything goes for good in your family! Hugs! Rose Marie

  6. Dearest Mariette...Holding thoughts of your dear father in my heart.

    I have yet to understand the minds or motives of toxic people. Their nastiness never appears brings them any happiness or joy. It just makes them meaner and nastier.

    I hope Pieter is well. How fortunate you are to have a (mostly) loving and supportive family.

    Peace to you all.......*s*

  7. Beterschap met je vader en ook jullie wens ik veel sterkte! Joan

  8. i am sorry to hear of your father's heart trouble. prayers for all of you.

  9. Liebe Mariette,
    es tut mir sehr leid, von der schweren Erkrankung deines Vaters zu lesen -
    ich werde für ihn beten und hoffe sehr, dass er bald wieder gesund wird -
    dir wünsche ich Kraft und Zuversicht -

    herzliche Grüße - Ruth

  10. Liebe Mariette,
    ich denke viel an dich und deinen lieben Vater.
    Möge er bald das Krankenhaus wieder verlassen können.
    Dir wünsche ich viel Kraft.
    Einen guten Start in die neue Woche wünscht

  11. OOOOHHHH my dear . I´m very very sorry . Naturally I´ll pray for your dear dad. I send you all my positive energy.
    Sending blessings for all the family.

  12. Sorry to hear of your Dad's health problems Mariette. It's awful when you're so far away and unable to help in any way.
    So sad that your brother has been so nasty to you and family. Hope your Dad recovers soon. A big hug xxx

  13. ~~~ sending love from Bend Oregon. Take care.

  14. Lieve Mariette,

    Wat een naar bericht, op de eerste plaats voor je vader,voor jou en man Pieter.
    Wel fijn dat er nog familie is die je wel op de hoogte houden over je vaders toestand.
    Hoop dat God jullie gebeden hoort en bovenal verhoort.

    Sterkte en liefs,

  15. I'm sorry with your Dear Dad. everythig lare for him, you would love to be all time with him just you have happiness with Husband Pietter is well.
    Hugs and love to both of you and Dad!

  16. Dearest Mariette,

    I am so sorry dear friend hearing about your Father and do hope his condition improves. Makes it so hard when you are so far away.
    You and your father will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Sending love and hugs

  17. Dearest Mariette; OMG! How hard it must be away from your father, Dear friend. Sweet Picture of him makes me believe he WILL get better soon. Hope you had a good news about his condition by now. So sorry for not commenting soon.
    My thoughts and prayers for you and all of your loved ones 'family'; Anita looks so lovely and wonderful daughter♪

    Take Care and BIG hugs to you form Japan to my Dear friend in America, xoxo Miyako*

  18. It seems most families have their toxic family members. My husband has to deal with his one brother each and every day and it is tiring to say the least when someone just takes and expects but never gives anything in return but trouble. Sorry to hear you must deal with that on top of your dad's ill health. I don't know what's wrong with some people that they have to be so hateful. Usually it stems from jealousy. How in the world does he have control over your parents' will when it is their wishes that should be honored, not his. Sending prayers and healing wishes for your father.

  19. Hoop dat je vader goed herstelt, veel sterkte.

  20. Dearest Mariette ,i am so sorry about your dad's health . I wish that soon he will recover .Take care yourself and think that is so difficult when the parents are away ... All my love !

  21. Je vader ligt in ieder geval op de juiste plaats, ze zullen hem daar zeker goed in de gaten houden... en wat betreft je broers en zus...ben blij dat je in ieder geval ook nog goede/lieve broers en zus hebt....ik heb maar 1 broer, en die laat mij ook nooit iets weten wat mijn vader aangaat, moet het altijd maar 'toevallig' horen van anderen...ook toen hij vorig jaar opgenomen was in het ziekenhuis voor onderzoek, wist ik dit niet.... moest het horen van zijn 85 jarige zus, die ik toevallig tegen kwam, en in het ziekenhuis en bij de dokter is hij de contactpersoon, en dan mag er ook nog eens geen informatie gegeven worden aan mij...zeer frustrerend, maar ja, wat doe je er aan...dus ik weet wat het is......veel sterkte..

  22. Oh no, Mariette, I am so sorry your dad had a heart attack. I hope and pray for his full recovery. It is really hard to be so far away from family...yes, I know very well. I'm sorry some of your siblings are so hard on you, but glad you have close siblings, too, and they keep you updated about your dad's condition. And Anita is so sweet and has a very kind heart. Hugs to you xoxo

  23. Lieve Mariette .
    Ik hoop dat het weer een beetje beter is met je vader ...
    .jammer dat sommige mensen soms zo dwars kunnen zijn ...ik wens jullie heel veel sterkte toe
    heel veel liefs Nieneke

  24. Cara Mariette,mi dispiace sapere che il tuo papà non sta bene e spero che lui si riprenda presto e possa tornare a casa.
    Un forte forte abbraccio cara ♥

  25. Oh, my Dear, Dear Mariette - I am so sorry to hear this news! It is so difficult to be so far away and be the victim of unloving attitudes in your time of sadness and worry. As the eldest daughter, and my husband as the eldest son, we both experienced this bitterness and resentment from our siblings during our parent's final years. Why? I will never understand it and I know you are confused, also. Take the high road, my Dear and know that you are not to blame. Sending prayers and loving understanding to both of you and to your Dear Father who must love his sweet daughter dearly. Hugs xo Karen

  26. Liebe Mariette,
    ich bin erschüttert über diese Nachricht und bete für Deinen Vater!
    Von Herzen alles Liebe und Gute

  27. Hello, Mariette,
    I scrolled down your posts and I am here now. So sorry for your Dad’s heart attack.
    I hope he will recover quickly. Yes, I know, 8000km is a great distance to deal with your parents. I think you want be with your dad. My mother lives in Tokyo, which is just 600 km away from my house but I often think it is not easy to see her.


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